What Interferes With Surrender?
Ah! The magical Path of Surrender continues. . .
May I invite you to close your eyes for a moment. Take a couple of breaths. How does that feel? What do you notice? Most often, when we turn our attention within, we notice how active our mind is . . . The thoughts just keep on coming, looping, obsessing. Sometimes we try to ‘make’ the mind be quiet. Or we talk back to it, in frustration, our whole body feeling constricted and aggravated. Will has stepped in, in an attempt to control the situation at hand. How often does that work?
Here’s another invitation.
Again, I invite you to close your eyes, feel your breath. Notice your thoughts ~
and simply Accept the thoughts. Allow the activity of your mind.
Just watch them without trying to make them change or go away.
Let go of labeling them or reacting to them.
Next, begin to notice and FEEL the rhythm of your breath.
Use your focus (masculine quality) to stay connected to feeling (feminine quality) your breathing, however your breathing shows up.
Just feel your breath for 3-5 breath cycles.
Now, how do you feel? How is the relationship to your thinking? How does your body feel, by accepting your thoughts and focusing on your breath? Did you notice that you felt calmer?
Did you notice your thoughts disappeared into the back ground ~ and maybe even quieted? Did you sense a lightness of being?
This is the Art of Surrender. This is the magic of embracing the Sacred Feminine qualities within your being and allowing Her to wash over and soothe you from within. There is nothing to fight, the power is in the letting go & receiving what is at hand.
When we’re speaking of the Sacred Feminine/Masculine, we are speaking of qualities of energies, that reside in each of us. We aren’t referring to gender, though the imbalances have affected us in our human-being-ness and the actions in our lives, as men and women.
When we explore the action of Will, we clearly see that it serves us. It affords us success in forward movement, follow-through and determination. And, if we peek at its Shadow aspects, it also can act as a force which puts us into over-drive, creating ill health, exaggerated egoic qualities, and imbalance.
Surrender has very different qualities of expression. Surrender is the letting go, the release, the receptivity of ‘what is.’ It is expansive, emotive, heart centered, and woven with imagination that gives us space to day dream and create our highest possible reality. Surrender creates space for Grace, to assist us in what is right and true, what supports us, what nurtures our evolution, our inner beauty.
Why is it then, if it feels so nourishing to be in the qualities of love and truth, do we fight and resist letting go? What gets in the way of our surrendering?
One way I work with this, and I will say honestly, it’s came from much willful head-banging on my part. If we Surrender, our programmed need for Control is threatened. This can feel very frightening. Here’s one of my approaches for you to test our what I mean. Explore for a moment, this marriage of Will & Surrender. ‘Cast & Release.’
Most of us know, if we can tune into our inner world, what our truest desires are, what our deepest yearning is, there is a feeling we are longing to experience. By setting an intention in that feeling realm, by taking actions in the direction of our inner guidance, we are engaging the masculine within us. But then comes the rub. Cast and LET GO of the outcome! Act and RELEASE. Take steps and SURRENDER to a force that is invisible, but working for your highest good. Ask and have FAITH.
You may be feeling the challenge, right? It sounds good in theory. It feels good for, oh, about a day or two. And then what do you notice kicking in? What triggers your anxiety? What propels you to start sticking your fingers in the pot, to gain . . . control?
I don’t know those answers for you. This is an opportunity for your inner inquiry. I find when I understand and take responsibility for my spiritual unfolding and examine what makes me tick, react, continue negating patterns, or attract what I don’t want or what I do want, into my life, I can ride the waves much easier. Self-Inquiry in itself is a beautiful practice in merging our masculine and feminine aspects in order to bloom into our fullness.
As per this example, I know that what comes up for me often, are beliefs about the turn-around time from my ‘casting’ and the expectation of getting what I want. One big thorn in my side is that, I usually think I should receive what I want in a very short period of time! When I don’t, it triggers a lack of Faith, fearing that I won’t receive what I am desiring. And then if it is something that interferes with my sense of material/financial security, the survival instinct kicks in. The scarcity reaction pushes me to ‘grab on’ and try to control the outcome. The less aware I am of this process, the stronger the compulsion to control becomes. When I become afraid of not being able to pay bills, eat, go to the doctor, I can hardly see clearly that there is more going on than meets the eye. That challenged Faith and Trust, prompts me to ask, “Is there is really a power or force that is helping me out?”
On the deeper level, regardless of how it’s expressing, Control fights Surrender, and its presence is most always present. Control is one of the most powerful areas to gain awareness of!
In part, the reasons that make this path so challenging AND why it is so important to reconnect to, are the same. We have moved so far away from a relationship with our inner, sacred faculties of intuition, our connection to subtle energies & forces of assistance, and faith that there is a reason to the rhymes, a meaning to the parables, even if we don’t realize it, in the moments of our grasping. Many have moved away from connecting the Mysteries of life, the forces that we can’t see, and our own inner knowing.
This is what the Path of Surrender teaches us. However, we only gain this wisdom by entering into a relationship with this quality of the Sacred Feminine. We might think at first, it’s a treacherous journey. But really, it’s only treacherous for that ‘part of us’ which is still indoctrinated in the past/rapidly altering paradigm, of the dominating masculine. The act of Surrender will dissolve the parts of us which are ridden with fear, greed, isolation, scarcity, and stress.
The degree of discomfort in letting go, will be equal to the amount of control trying to remain at the helm of your ship. And it may feel discombobulating as these old energies are released, dissolved, and die off from our being.
The beauty of this process is the levity we are gifted once the old has cleared. The rewards of greater Freedom, Joy, Compassion & Love, will call us back for more, our heart and soul responding to the revelation of our inner truth being freed!
We becoming willing to Surrender certain aspects of ourselves. We long for outworn aspects of who we used to be, to die. Because it is with each inner death, comes a Re-Birth. And this is how we experience more of who we truly are.
And let’s take that one more step . . . Those aspects within us, which we identify as ‘us,’ are not ‘us.’ I am not fear, jealousy, anger, etc. Sometimes I feel as if I am a specific emotion. But this is only because I’ve become habituated in this feeling experience. When we rise in consciousness, in vibration, we begin to experience that becoming Love, which is a quality, is different from the emotion of love, so to speak.
Language makes the intangibles almost impossible to talk about. Fear, control, etc is NOT who we are. And as we enter into the magical awakening of the Sacred Feminine, and Her entrance into our world, we find we ARE the qualities of Love, Generosity, Abundance, Faith, Peace, Spaciousness, and Light.
My hand is extended out to you here, as we journey together into this new radiant world which is percolating and bubbling up from within our Heart & Soul!