When the Bliss of Waking Turns South

Over the many years of working with clients as they travel on their healing path, there is a common pattern. Expanded awareness, many AhHa moments, new freedom & bliss . . . and then things ‘turn south,’ or so it feels.

I’d been working with a lovely woman who was coming for sessions every 2 weeks. Her clarity was growing, old outworn patterns were releasing. Her connection to God and her guides was deepening. She was stepping into her true expression with greater confidence. She was feeling more self-love, more love and generosity for others, and rooting deeper into her sense of self-worth.  After a few months of working together she wanted to dive deeper, so we embarked on a 3 day intensive retreat.

She was a deep-diver over that weekend! She received greater clarity and released deep grief. Though she felt much lighter, with a joyful spaciousness, she also got ‘sick’ at the very end. By sick, as I’ve stated before, that word is a more familiar label for cleansing the emotional on the physical level. With bronchitis, inconvenienced, by what was happening, and a little deflated.  It wasn’t the ending she’d hoped for.

When we really commit to our spiritual unfolding, it’s important to realize there will be peaks and valleys, highs and lows, summer and winter. These will show up in our emotional landscape. We may feel a little crazy and confused, as our mind integrates new perceptions, and the body will go through many changes. Many times, as our patterns are transformed, as our vibrations rise, we may need to boldly step into a fire, which may be painful, and walk through it to gain a new perception, a higher level of wakefulness.  The work is to show up where the rubber meets the road, so to speak, remaining vigilant and awake to practice a new way of being.

The process of awakening is amazing and filled with much wonder, as we learn to see/perceive/live, like we’ve never seen/perceived/lived before. We remember what we’ve long forgotten ~

 that we are each sparks of the Divine Love, waiting to be fully embodied. The connection with all of Life, the expansion of Love, and the deep well of Compassion we access, is without words to describe.  This is Our Truth.

And, the other side of the coin, is that we must also face the abyss of the Unknown, disconnection from identifications that previously allowed life and ourselves to make sense to our human-ness. There is an unearthing of pain, sadness, and fear, which must be released and transformed with the consciousness of waking.

When this stage of our spiritual journey is experienced for the first time it can certainly feel as if we’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere along the line! I remember after the bliss of the first 4 months of my Kundalini awakening, I became very unsettled ~ at least in the mind.

For months I’d been in a state of disintegration of the self, as I’d known myself to be. Literally, I felt empty, like a void inside, yet so clear and full at the same time. The previous ways in which my personality functioned felt washed away. I wasn’t experiencing any ‘buttons’ being pushed, even though there was plenty of button pushing happening. I didn’t need to process, discuss, or solve any issues. Silence, being present and acting from a place of being in the moment, allowed life to unfold perfectly. Judgments had escaped me and I felt deeply connected with Source. I thought I was free!

And then, it turned south, or so I thought. Around that 4 month time, the body felt at peace, empty, calm, and grounded. But my mind from nowhere, began thinking again. It was as if a switch was flipped off from being the witness/observer state of consciousness, of simply being present.  Instead, the mind’s thought was perceiving the state of intense detachment, and there was reaction. And that reaction was disturbed. I had been resting in the hightened state of witness consciousness, and next, I was entering back into the more person-hood, identified, ego consciousness.  Instead of experiencing the peace, calm, empty of the body, as I had prior, I felt greatly detached and numb to all emotion, within the mind.

This alarmed the mind, while the body remained silent and empty. Without the senses of emotion, I couldn’t access the feeling of love for my partner or family. I didn’t feel connected to myself. I felt void of personality. To top it off, the fact that I couldn’t even feel the sense of alarm in my body, that I felt in my mind, alarmed my mind even more!

This phase passed. As I traversed over the years, I recognized that at different phases of our awakening, there are a great many shifts that take place energetically, physically, and of course, this affects our consciousness.  Consciousness is the key. New states of consciousness will create a new experience in how we relate to everything. But I don’t want to digress into that long subject.

The point is, that we are growing, expanding, awakening, ascending. So many words to describe what has to be experiential, to truly understand. It’s important that we have these conversations, because this will ward off unneeded fear or disappointment. Everyone’s spiritual path is unique, and yet, there are similarities at different junctures along the way.

I didn’t take a wrong turn & head south. The client, I shared about above or the others, also didn’t take wrong turns. All of us traversing this path will realize this, if we just keep moving forward, opening our heart to love and the Divine, and keep the fire of courage burning that a spiritual warrior needs to continue their journey.

We are blessed to be living in this time of accelerated spiritual unfolding! It’s amazing. It’s daunting. It’s a path of embodiment, and this is what has been largely overlooked in spiritual teachings in the general public. So hang on, but not too tightly. The ride is filled with more ease & grace, the less we cling.  If you feel you’ve turned south, know you will soon turn north again.We’re all in this together, so you’re invited to keep rising, keep diving, keep shining.

 

Blessings on your ups & downs ~ Lotus

art: Mara Freidman
Advertisements

Only You

You can’t access a higher vibration
Until you rise to meet it.

You can’t taste transformation
Until you’re ready to greet it.

There’s a process, there’s time,
we travel, in our own way.

But we all go through it . . .
Awaken, a little more each day.

copyright Byron Lindley 2016

This is a time of co-creation. We choose to create with the Divine Truth or with the illusory world. What are you creating in your awakening experience?

Some of us look around and get looped into the fear programs, the density holdings of a paradigm that is crumbling. The invitation is to reflect within yourself.

Where do you get hooked into those parts of yourself that are anxious, depressed, in doubt, in fear?

Do you feel trapped in feeling that you are powerless in a world  gone mad?

We each are responsible for our own process. The shadows that seem looming outside of us, are also within, awaiting your attention and healing.

Do you see blame & judgment in the world?

Heal the blame & judgment within you.

Do you see anger & fear in the world?

Heal the anger & fear within you. 

Do you feel that humanity has lost its integrity?

Heal the loss of integrity within you. 

Our inner consciousness has the power to transform the collective consciousness. Don’t get distracted by the games that pit us and divide us from one another. Pull your attention inward.

Feel into your own heart ~ Honestly. Courageously. Humbly. 

If you don’t know how to do this inner journey, seek out those who can guide you safely and compassionately. If you have forgotten your Wholeness & Wholiness, you have a choice whether or not, to retrieve it. It is a matter of choice and action.  You hold this power.

Only you hold the key to rise up to meet your own Light! 

 

Blessings on your Awakening Journey!

 


art: Luis Tamani Amasifuen

Guidance from the Light ~ Highest Self Alignment

Greetings Lovelies! I wanted to share this which has come in recently. We are being urged to continue to move at rapid paces. Always know, we are held, loved & supported.

The Soul, the Highest Self, knows what is needed.

Stay out of the way of your personality. Allow personality/personhood to follow the alignment,  which will in turn allow ‘you’ to deepen. Your highest aspects will guide you accordingly.

Empty of the restrictions in the heart, open to Love and Light and Trust. In the midst, know that you are not helpless, even if at times it feels this way. You are not being dis-empowered. You are not helpless. You are allowing yourself to be helped by your higher aspects and those of us able to oversee and guide you from a higher perspective.

Do not assume that you know the full knowing of your purpose, or that your purpose at this now time will be the same at another. The element of feeling will guide you to your call as it evolves. But this also means that you mustn’t be attached to what your feeling experience is now. It will change. Don’t let personality become attached or fixed,  so that Soul can continue to evolve. Things are changing rapidly, therefore what you perceive as your call must be allowed to change as needed.

See that your call is manifesting NOW. Do not wait until something feels solidified, if you are feeling a call forward. Be in action, from the inner guidance, as the shifts take place in each moment. You are creating NOW. Follow the guidance of your Highest Self.

Allow your perceptions to stretch, expand and become elastic.

Thank you & our assistance is always present.

7th Council of Light of the New Earth Rising

Body Wise

In the past I’ve spoken often about our bodies as powerful teachers. They are our guides, our informants. This last week or so, my teacher is my stomach. The informant is sharing with me information, of that which is transforming in regards to my relationship with my sense of self, with the Third Chakra. The center of personal power.

Flash Back Decades:  In my early 30’s, at the end of a 5 year relationship with a fellow alcoholic, I was just beginning to figure out this internal system of communication. He wasn’t working at that time, desperately focusing on his art, which meant he was home all day, sipping his beer. He had relapsed in the last months and was thus far controlling his intake. With one addiction enlivened, many other co-addictions arose as well, which were much harder to tame. Me? Well, I was around 5 years sober, my co-dependency now triggered immensely by the entire life I was living, yet not quite ready to admit this to myself.

I loved my job working at an outdoor flower stand in downtown Portland. Loved the people I connected with all day. And yet, every day when I got on the bus to go home, my stomach began to feel sick, as if I needed to throw up. Of course now, it’s completely obvious what was eating away at me. But back then I’d begin to wonder, as the city-scape passed by the window, “I wonder if I’m eating something for lunch that isn’t agreeing with me?”  “Maybe I drank too much coffee again.”  And as I got off the bus, walking toward our building, the feeling of a need to vomit, both strengthened, while simultaneously became numb. My whole being would go numb.

There came the moments when I began to connect the dots. This was prompted by the mysterious disappearance of my engagement ring from my finger. I searched high and low, with no recollection of removing it. Then one day while cleaning, I stood on the toilet seat to reach up and clean a high shelf, and there it sat! The lost ring. My mind spun for a moment. Did it some how fall off my hand, and he found it and hid it from me? That didn’t fit any dynamic of our relationship. Could I have put it up there? As much as I imagined all sorts of far out things, I had an inkling that some hidden part of me was attempting to send me a message.  

Not long after, as I was taking off my jeans one evening, I found a crumpled piece of paper. It was a slip torn off from a poster advertising an apartment for rent. Whoa! How did this get in my pants?! I was honestly quite shaken from the find, but what was really shaking me up was consciousness was shifting within me, soul was sending messages which were now breaking through my denial system, that the life I was living would continue. I was shaking because these mysterious instances broke through and I received the message. It was time to leave. It was time to transform myself and my life.

My life choices were making me sick, literally. My body was communicating messages from down deep within my being, asking that I acknowledge the truth, “The jig’s up.” With this acknowledgment, also came the responsibility of decision making. I was guided to choose to love myself, to choose me. Once I saw the light, I couldn’t put the blinders back on. Goodness knows a part of me wanted to, but Soul had other plans. Thankfully.

Everything in your life shifts when you come into harmony with yourself.  

Panache Desai

Back to the Future~Present: Decades have passed and this body of mine is the first place I ‘listen into’ when change is amiss. It has never led me astray. And here I am again, guts churning. Feelings like I’m going to burst at the seams. Anxiousness free-floating. Weepy. And the guts still churn. This time not from a disconnect from personal power, nor because the life I’m living isn’t wonderful. Instead, it’s from a new level of empowerment taking place within.

I’m grateful for all the life experiences that have taught me previously how to ride these very uncomfortable waves of an inner dying process. It’s taken a couple of days of surrendering into all of the feelings, which can be labeled as depression, I suppose. However, I’m aware it’s in fact energies and consciousness being transformed.

So I rest. I allow all the feelings to rise from within, to bring forth new light.

There are traits of personality that I have worn most of my life. Some have served me in the past and have been burnt in the fire. Some are still serving me. Others are ready to be to be transformed. As some are now dying they are simultaneously  birthing a new me. Rebirth can often be as challenging as the death. Because it calls for embodiment of the new. This time it is felt in my gut.

At this juncture there is a brighter, stronger, more powerful self forming. She feels fierce and protective, like a Mama Bear watching out for her baby. Except, I am both. She is determined to play by new rules. Old rules will no longer serve the me who is becoming. And now aspects which have not been ready to be shown, or I have not been ready to don them, are now readying to burst forth.  A new sense of personal power, a deeper truth, is no longer afraid to rock the boat.

Can you ‘hear’ when your body is stepping-up in the role of Teacher?

Can you feel the messages it speaks?

Do you believe in the ‘symptoms’ you experience in the body, as purely physical?

Are you ready to see the ‘symptoms’ as a call to heal and transform your life?  

My experience has been that soul speaks through our physical being. Our physiology . . . biology . . . emotions . . . subconscious. Our being is interconnected on gross and subtle levels; along a thread of past, present, and future; from our conscious self to our Highest, Divine Self. We live in a body-vehicle.  We are embodied, and the messages come through this vehicle to guide us.

Like many things in life, we cruise along until we hit a snag of discomfort. This gets our attention and we can then inquire and make the changes necessary.  Well, when it’s time to move through a death and re-birthing process, this happens inside of us. We are guided to the inner messages being delivered.

If you don’t connect to this inner knowing already, your soulsong guidance, here are a few steps which you’re invited to practice, if you feel so called:

Stop & Listen.

Enter into Stillness & Silence & Allow space for whatever rises.  

Do not judge & Inquire within.

Get Radically Honest & Let go of what no longer serves you.

Love yourself through the growing pains of Rebirth & Take the next step into your Light.

For assistance & support along your awakening journey, click here.

Blessings & Love ~

Lotus